"O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I am far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me. Your hand of blessing is on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!" Psalms 139:1-6
"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous - how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! When I wake up, you are still with me!" Psalms 139:13-18
His face has undone me this week. Living far way from my brother and his sweet family, I don't get to do what I want to do more than anything in the world at this moment - to kiss that sweet face and take in every little sweet part of him. During my morning quiet, I was guided to this passage. I can hardly express the emotions it brings up.
I can't help but think of his tiny fingers and toes. His dimpled chin and perfect newborn skin.
I can't help think of his cousin being knitted together right now, as well. His cousin isn't expected until October, also a firstborn of my baby sister.
These two boys, and my own three make me see God differently.
These children of my heart, these children so perfectly knitted together - being under the watchful eyes of God in the seclusion of their development, they make me see myself differently through God's eyes. As I study the pictures and video of my sweet newest one, I just wonder at him.
"How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!" Psalms 139:17-18
"O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I am far away...you know everything I do. You know everything I am going to say...you go before me...You place your hand of blessing on my head." Psalm 139:1-5
I wish I knew my own children as well as God knows me - yet, I do know them. I see them when they travel. I am present when they rest at home. Sometimes, I know exactly what they are going to say before they say it.
I go before them, to make sure their trail is safe, and watch their back in case they need protecting. Oh, how often I rest my head on their head and ask for blessing.
Yet, "Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!" (verse 5)
Thank you, Lord. For insight such as these, as moments of quiet where we get a glimpse of you and your love for us.
Rest your hand of blessing on their heads.
Watch as he is knitted together in the dark places.
Go before them.
Know my thoughts.
Examine my heart.