Courtney Kendall Steed
  • Blog
  • Me
  • Resources
    • Retreats >
      • Themes
      • Encouragement
      • Silliness
      • Devotion
      • Extras
  • Contact

Silence is Work

5/2/2017

0 Comments

 
"Let all that I am wait quietly before the God, for my hope is in Him." Psalms 62:5
Picture
In my struggle to learn how to be silent for the benefit of greater depth of knowing God, I have had some new awarenesses about the reasons it is so hard. As I mentioned a bit ago, stillness can be a challenge. For many of us silence is just as hard, and often times seen as nearly impossible. 

As I am learning for myself, silence is so very important. Just has one-on-one time is important to a husband and wife relationship, so is creating a space for silence to listen to God speak to us. In silence, in the absence of outside noises to distract us, we can nurture an ear for hearing God's still small voice. In that space we can make room for heightened gratitude, new mental connections, mediations on God's promises and new conclusions about God's character. In quiet, we can be better prepared to pray, to speak the longings of our hearts and hear God answer them. 

But, we have create a space. Silence, especially in our modern world is virtually impossible, or so it seems. There is noise everywhere, and we can literally surround ourselves with it from morning til night - even when we are alone, even in solitude. 

Silence in our world is foreign. Odd. Weird. Bizarre. To have a space that isn't filled with music, words, news, kids, families, and other sounds of activity takes work. Sometimes, a lot of work. We have to purposefully create a space of quiet - to be willing to shut off the noise we have perhaps unintentionally surrounded ourselves with. To note the things that are distracting our minds, our bodies, and our spirits and shut them off. 

Here are some things I am working on to be purposeful about creating space for silence: 

* Rising early. This is one is huge for me. Not everyone is a big appreciator of early mornings, but there is something sacred about that space in time while the world is still slow. That space allows for a purposeful dedication for the day, and allows for an appreciate of the fresh and new mercies of the morning.

Being a mom of boys, our chaos starts the second the kids wake up. To beat them by even a few minutes is a win in my book. 

* Turn off the noise. When I am looking for the space, I am quicker to note when I am filling my surroundings with noise. I immediately turn on the radio when we are in the car, or flip on the news while I am cooking dinner. In my desire for productivity, I find I am wanting to fill potential space of quiet with something that will quality as getting things done. But, for the moments when I need silence to hear, I am learning its okay to turn off the music, news and just do dishes in quiet. Its okay.

While it may not be perfect silence, I find that just removing a few things helps bring my mind into focus. 

Sidenote, often when I create space for quiet while my kids are around (i.e., the car) they often use that time to be quiet themselves. Or, take that time to share things on their heart that may not bring me closer to God (or maybe they will), but often they are things that will bring them closer to understanding God themselves. Silence isn't just for me.

* Get away. When I am craving silence in the middle of chaos, sometimes I just get away from the noise for a moment. Maybe it is by taking a quick walk (or drive) around the block,  taking a trip to the creek, hiding in my bedroom, or just go in the bathroom and close the door. A clean bathroom with a fan on can create some nice emergency quiet :) 

* Train your family. Yes, you can teach your kids that quiet is ok. Being home 24 hours a day together, having a space midday that is mandated quiet, is a given in our house. Its not silent, per se, but quiet. The kids know that is what we are doing - mom is going to disappear (mostly to my office, or room) and they are expected to do a quiet thing for at least an hour. 

We actually look forward to this part of our day. We plan around it. We know that no matter the business of the day, at some point there will be quiet. Kids even as young as infants can appreciate there being moments where things settle. Where the TV, video games, or music is off. Where voices are stilled and we are just quiet for  a bit. Even if things are silent, they can feel less busy by design. 

Its a good practice to teach our kids, and maybe it will be easier for them than it is for us because of it. 

* Stop talking. Genius. I know. I didn't realize how often we mandate in our culture the need to fill space of quiet with talk. In the car with our kids, over dinner, sitting in the room together - it seems weird to not speak. In the media, the one who wants to assert the power is the one who talks the loudest, is the rudest, is the one who gets more words in. How often do I create unnecessary noise with my own lips? So often. 

I am in the beginning stages of establishing a relationship with a Spiritual Director. Her most powerful tool so far is silence. She will ask a question or pose a consideration, and then just wait. She will watch me for ques that I am thinking deeply, and she will just ...wait. It was odd at first, but then strangely intimate. She draws me into a deeper awareness with God by her silence. Her quiet allows me to listen to God for myself. She also waits for words to share - and doesn't speak until they come. 

It has encouraged me to consider that same thing with others. Just, hush. Let them process in quiet. Let them be silent and think. Let them figure it out. 

I had a situation with my 12-year old this week - he wanted to talk, but like so many adolescents he had a hard time forming words. I practiced silence to help draw him out. It worked. His heart longings eventually were shared, and oh, they were the things momma's hearts need so much to hear. 

---

Hush, sweet sis. Just be quiet. Shut out the noises. Let the quiet nurture your heart. Don't give up quiet moments to worthless noise. Create the space for the quiet. You need it. 

What do you do to create that space? Do tell, we need to hear all the ideas we can get! 

Courtney

0 Comments

Stillness is Hard

4/20/2017

2 Comments

 
PictureThis is down the road from my house. I pulled over the other day because spring made the view so beautiful!
I have been practicing the discipline of silence and solitude. I am taking a course through Selah, a place where one can find direction in such things.

I am learning to take moments of solitude, and learning to create space for silence. I am blessed at present with a season where I can practice both of those in the early morning hours, relatively consistently. I am loving my mornings alone, with God, his word, his lessons and the quiet.

I am loving the structure of this course, which directs me to consider certain things and gives me scripture to ponder. I have been surprised though, that the easy part has been the silence and the solitude. The stillness that is innately mandatory, that is the hard part.

I have found that even the quiet of silence, my mind is still so loud. Even in solitude, there are so many voices and so many things that my mind and body want to do. I keep reaching for my phone, or my planner. I keep fidgeting with the pens, the papers, the clutter on my desk, whatever is near me. I am jumping from one thing to another, even in my quiet space with no one to interrupt me but myself.

This morning, I recognize my problem is with stillness. I crave solitude. I love silence. But stillness... it is uncomfortable.

The lesson guides me to be still. Just be. Just hang out with God. Just be still.

Who would have guessed that stillness would be the hardest part of things.

I have been purposefully learning silence and solitude through these guided instructions for a week now. Today, I realize that stillness is an element of the discipline as well. Silence. Solitude. Stillness.

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalms 46:10
It sounds so easy, doesn't it? Just, be still. Stop moving. Stop striving. Stop fighting. Just be. 

But, my brain wants to ponder the daily schedule, to take this quiet time to get things done, it wants to answer the emails, or consider what I need to cook for dinner. I wants to wander to things away from here, in this quiet space. It is anything but still, even in the quiet. Even in the solitude. 

I still find myself anxious to move, to do something productive, and to accomplish. How interesting that I am so addicted to busyness, that even given the space to do it I struggle so. 

So, I am learning. To recognize the stillness part. To pay attention to my body, and my mind. To focus on God's words, and not my to do list. I am trying to learn to just be. To just sit. To just listen. To just consider God. To just speak to him. To direct my brain, to give it God-things to focus on. To consider gratitude, Scripture, prayers, questions. 

I am teaching my body to be still - to breathe slowly. To sit still. To just be. 

My husband was marveling at our boys yesterday - how they never. stop. moving. Even when watching a favorite show or doing something "quiet" they are tumbling, playing with feet, fingers, things close by, each other, touching...touching..touching. They are wiggly and always moving. I laugh with him, because it is true. But, I see myself like them today. 

I hear my Father, like theirs, saying: "Just. Be. Still. Have self control. Fold your hands so they aren't tempted to touch anything for this moment. Focus on being quiet, and just listening. Be still." 

Stillness is it's own discipline. But, I am learning.

Courtney

2 Comments

Selah: Psalms 139:1-18

4/15/2017

0 Comments

 
"O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I am far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me. Your hand of blessing is on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!" Psalms 139:1-6

"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous - how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. 

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! When I wake up, you are still with me!"  Psalms 139:13-18
​
Picture
My family has been celebrating a new addition this week. He is the firstborn of my brother, the only one of 12 grandchildren that carry my dad's name. 

His face has undone me this week. Living far way from my brother and his sweet family, I don't get to do what I want to do more than anything in the world at this moment - to kiss that sweet face and take in every little sweet part of him. During my morning quiet, I was guided to this passage. I can hardly express the emotions it brings up.

I can't help but think of his tiny fingers and toes. His dimpled chin and perfect newborn skin.

I can't help think of his cousin being knitted together right now, as well.  His cousin isn't expected until October, also a firstborn of my baby sister. 

These two boys, and my own three make me see God differently. 

These children of my heart, these children so perfectly knitted together - being under the watchful eyes of God in the seclusion of their development, they make me see myself differently through God's eyes. As I study the pictures and video of my sweet newest one, I just wonder at him. 

"How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!" Psalms 139:17-18
I so well remember my many, innumerable thoughts directed at my own children. I still have so many, they truly outnumber the grains of sand. And, when they wake up, I am still with them. 
"O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I am far away...you know everything I do. You know everything I am going to say...you go before me...You place your hand of blessing on my head." Psalm 139:1-5
As I am in quiet, my mind shifts constantly between the perspective of the wonderer to the one being wondered at. I am the one in my Father's thoughts. I am the one who is known. I am the one whose head is weighted down with the pressure of His hand of blessing.

 I wish I knew my own children as well as God knows me - yet, I do know them. I see them when they travel. I am present when they rest at home. Sometimes, I know exactly what they are going to say before they say it.

​I go before them, to make sure their trail is safe, and watch their back in case they need protecting. Oh, how often I rest my head on their head and ask for blessing. 

Yet, "Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!" (verse 5)

Thank you, Lord. For insight such as these, as moments of quiet where we get a glimpse of you and your love for us.

Rest your hand of blessing on their heads.
Watch as he is knitted together in the dark places.
Go before them.
Follow me.
Know my thoughts.
Examine my heart
. 

Selah.

Courtney

0 Comments

What I Learned at Lit

2/13/2017

0 Comments

 
"I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit - just as you were called to one hope that belongs to your call - one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.  But grace is given to each of one us according to the measure of Christ's gift."  Ephesians 4:1-7
Picture
I attended a conference this weekend called, Lit. It was hosted by Beth Moore, especially for the younger generation of writers and speakers who feel called into that particular ministry. 

I am excited first, that at 39 years old, I still qualified. Yay for that. I am excited next, because the relatively small gathering (only 744 of us) were treated to a raw and passionate (even more than usual!) "older sister" encouragement by Beth, as well as a few who are not much older, but in the thick of this very ministry. It was a blessed, inspiring time together. 

I wish that all of you who have been entrusted with this ministry could have been there, because you would have surely been as encouraged. Now that I am home, I am trying to process the lessons I took from there. There are many which would stretch far beyond just speaking and writing ministry, into the lives many of us live in ministry in various parts of God's kingdom. As I processed, I thought you may benefit from some of the take aways I had. 

Some of these were things Beth specifically said, and some that I learned from her apart from her words.  Here are some of the  highlights: 

  • We are all Christ communicators. In our own ministries, we have all been entrusted to play our part in communicating Christ and His love for mankind. 
  • You cannot serve God unless you know Him. Studying and praying are essential to all communicators of Christ. Intimate time with God isn't time for writing lessons, blog posts or books. It is time to get to know you the One about whom you are communicating. Beth said, that 90% of what she teaches, writes and speaks about is from her time with God - but that is not the purpose of that time. 
  • If you are teacher, you have to do your homework. A "teacher" who doesn't study, is just a "talker" who likes to hear themselves talk.
  • Intercessory prayer is how we keep from being too much like ourselves. It reminds us we are part of a bigger world, and we are just part of God's kingdom - not the center of it.
  • No matter where your ministry takes you, always stay under the authority of a local body of the church. They will keep you in line with the truth.
  • When it comes to relationships, she said to have "Authenticity with all, transparency with most and intimacy with some." 
  • Regardless of your ministry, but especially if you are in the limelight, die to adoration early. 
  • You cannot do 1000 things for the glory of God. You can't fan into flame a whole bunch of stuff at once, you will get burnt out. 
  • Chose a couple of things. Make those the center of your life - don't give to other what isn't yours to give. You have been entrusted.
  • Don't live a life that is naturally explainable. 
  • Ask for supernatural power, to fan into flame your ministry, for clarity, knowledge, discernment, new revelations and for Him to fulfill every promise you find in Scripture. 
  • Finally, Beth taught me by her actions that passion speaks louder than words - so I need make sure my passion is lined up with the truth. But, that is a different blog post for another day :) 
These opportunities to learn at the feet of someone who is actively living out her calling, is one too blessed to forget quickly. I wish you were all there. 

I can feel that this weekend ignited a new passion for me. I am an entrusted Christ communicator. I want to be worthy of this calling. May you feel the fire in your bones as well. 
​
"Is not my word like fire, declares the Lord, and like a hammer that breaks the rock into pieces?"  
​Jeremiah 23:39

"For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit of not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:6
​


​Having Everything,
​Courtney

0 Comments

Simple Home: Getting Started

1/18/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Happy 2017, friends! I hope this year has already brought its own blessings and that you have much to look forward to the months ahead.

I am most excited for myself that I get to share Living Simplicity with you sometime in the next few months! I hope to share some great opportunities with you soon, about how you can be part of getting the word out. I truly believe we could all use to live a little simplicity.

If you aren't already a subscriber, I hope you will consider subscribing so that I can share that info with you as the time is right. If you havn't yet, please use the subscribe button in the side bar to get set up!


Not all, but a good part of living simply is managing our home. Our homes are the stage for a life lived simply. When starting out with my passionate bend towards simple, I thought that if i could just get my home simplified then I would be well on the way. I realize now that my home is not the most important part of simplifying, but it is does have a big part in the success of managing my resources well and thus, living more simply. 

In getting our homes in order, we are creating a space from which to launch all other aspects of living simply. We can use it as a centering point, a place where we can get our focus and live out the principles of simplicity. When my home is simple, it makes managing resources in other areas much easier. When I have my resources managed in my home well, I've learned that I am in a much better state of mind to tackle the other aspects of simple. 

Notice I didn't say getting our homes spotless. I didn't say perfect. Or, perfectly decorated.  None of these things are required to get find our simple self. Mostly, we need to have a degree of control of over our space, so that we can mange our resources well from that place. If our space for planning and launching is overrun with mismanaged resources, then how can we hope to do that way from there? 

Among other things, I hope to encourage us one aspect of simplicity at a time this year. There are a lot of places we can start, but we will start right where we are - in our spaces. 

Starting soon, we will begin a new series on simplifying our homes. There is plenty on the internets about the cleaning/organizing aspect of simplifying home. I will focus more on the emotional and spiritual aspect of getting our homes in order. 

To get started, take a peek a recent post on how pride can affect your clutter. 

And, stay tuned to learn how clutter can affect our relationships. It may surprise you that being overrun by clutter can negatively affect your closest relationships, and hinder the greatest purpose behind living simplicity. 

Also, I am working on an online course as a companion series to Living Simplicity (to be released spring/summer 2017). If would like some more interactive encouragement to simplify, I may have an e-course for you. Again, stay tuned by subscribing for updates! 

I am so excited to learn with you this year! 

Courtney 

0 Comments
<<Previous
Forward>>
    Picture

    Courtney Kendall Steed


    I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, and lover of all things simple. 


    Books by Courtney

    Everything You Need Bible study

    ​
    Living Simplicity 
    ​
    ​
    ASK: Lover of God's Law

    Categories

    All
    Simple Home


    Archives

    March 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    September 2016
    July 2016
    July 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    December 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    May 2014
    June 2013

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.