That should be a legit saying.

Pride does come before clutter. It can also come during clutter, and when you are trying to get rid of clutter. 

That is coming from someone who has been wrestling with both for a bit now. 

 I learned that pride and clutter are a thing when I first started making my transition from "Big House" (2500 sq ft)  to our "Little House"(900 sq ft) about two and a half years ago. I picked up on the connection fairly early, as I was facing the reality of having to downsize so significantly. 

I was ready to make the move, but the mountain of stuff before me was overwhelming. I wanted to make progress towards simplicity, but man, did it feel daunting. As I was facing the giant that was my over-filled home, I learned that there as a significant connection between my stuff, my pride and my getting rid of said stuff. At first I would not have called it pride. I would have called it being "practical" or not being "wasteful". I would have argued that we needed what had "just in case." But, the ugly monster soon showed its bad side and I saw it for what it was, and I have been fighting it ever since.

Pride can be connected to our clutter in a few ways, and it is not always in keeping clutter, believe it or not. We can find pride meeting us at every part of our decluttering journey, before, middle and once you are well on your way. 

First, pride can cause us to hold on to things that we don't need or really want because having it says something about us to the rest of the world.

Or, at least we want it to.

My area of prideful hoarding was with school related things. As a homeschool mom, I constantly feel a need to hold on to lots of school books, educational things, supplies and school-y things so that I will look legit. The more packed my school shelves are, the more "real" school experience I am giving my kids. Or, so I wanted my stuff to say. Our stuff can say other things on our behalf too, like having lots of kitchen stuff says we are a good cook or lots of calendars means we are organized. We look to our stuff to create an image for us, and sometimes we use stuff to say things about us that may not be true OR something that is true, regardless of what our stuff says. 

Another one I have run into is also related to what people think, but in a different way. 

I struggle with what not having things looks like to others.

When we started limiting our kids wardrobe, I really really struggled with how that would look to others. I didn't want people to think we couldn't afford clothes or more shoes, if we wanted to. I didn't want our less to appear not enough. I also really struggled with how for the first year or so of our living in the Little House, my youngest slept on a mattress on the floor. He was totally fine with that, I was the only one who struggled. Maybe you can relate with how it feels to have fewer shoes, kid toys, books on the bookshelf or different choices in the pantry than a lot of people ..what will they think, for goodness sake?! 

Interestingly, pride can also come into play when it comes to living on less as well because we are proud of ourselves for doing it (we are complex creatures).

Taking the road less traveled can give us an innate sense of pride that can plant itself deep in our hearts, if we aren't careful. Since learning to live more simply, I honestly have struggled at times with feeling prideful because of we have chosen to live with less. Being part of a virtual community online who strives the same way, I can tell you that pride rears its ugly head at times for all of us. 

In all these cases, pride leads us to consider what others think as our primarily motivation. We are thinking about how we appear to others, rather than how we need to best use our resources. 

Using our resources well is the primary motivation for godly simple living. Using what we have been given for our own good work, whether it is space, or things, or our wardrobe, allows us to turn our eyes away from what other think of us. We can't hold on to things because of how it will look to others, and we can't look to others to approve our desire to be content with less (whether for the good, or bad). 

Being really honest with ourselves about why we keep things, or why we don't is a big part of beating pride away. When we hold on to anything, be it books, cars, spices (true story), school supplies or anything we can ask, "Why do I need to keep this? Does it have anything to do with what others think?"  

Also, if you are intent on revealing what role pride plays in your clutter - ask. Ask God to show you if pride is an issue with your over abundance, and be willing confess it if he shows you. 

Something I have noticed about God's women is that we sometimes hesitate to claim our awesomeness. I have noted that a lot of us are ashamed, almost, of the things we really are gifted at. Like, it is somehow wrong to claim our talents.

I know I have struggled with that before. As a writer and speaker, I worry constantly that my willingness to share my own lessons will come off as self-promotion or bragging. I have had to undo that lie in my own life, and to embrace those things I have been uniquely equipped for. Interestingly, as I have done that I have found my own passion for my gifts growing, and I am finding a sort of fire in my bones in the areas that I was once shy to admit I was good.

We have been lied to, I am afraid. I think we have been hindered in our good work because we have been told that to embrace our talents means we are showing off, or being prideful. I get it. I have had my own judgmental thoughts. But, I am starting to see through those lies nowadays.

It helps that I am surrounded by amazingly talented and gifted women. I see their gifts so clearly, even if they don't. I see the writers, the speakers, the singers, the teachers, the wives, the mothers, the forgivers, the counselors, the grace-givers, the poets, the motivators, and the healers. And, I see them shyly consider that they may be unique. And, they are.

You are. You are amazing. Your gifts are so perfectly fitted for your work.

The thing is, if we do not embrace our equipping, then we won't fully embrace our good work. To understand what work is needed from us as God's women, we need to take a look at what tools we have to do that work. If one was handed a set of sculpting tools, they would assume there was sculpting to be done, right? If one was given a basket full of kitchen utensils, it wouldn't be so they could build a house. Unless we are honest about what our strengths are, how can we know which good work to do?

Understanding what our gifts are allows us to sift through the mess of opportunities, to determine the good stuff from the best stuff. There will always be houses to be built, but if all we have is a spatula then we probably aren't the ones to do it. Clearly, building houses is good to do but it is not ours to do, and its not ours to use our resources trying to do.

It helps to both keep us humble, and to appreciate our gifts when we remember that we were told in Ephesians, "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10 (NIV). We were created specifically for the work that needed doing before we were customized for the task. If you were handed a bunch of yard equipment, it wasn't because you were an expert landscaper to start with. It was because the yard needed tending, so you were given the tools you needed to fulfill the task.

Can you write really well? Then there must be words that need written. So, write.
Can you speak in a way that engages people? Then there is truth to be spoken. So, speak.
Can you host like a pro? Then there is hospitality needed. So, welcome.
Can you love people really well? Good, cause we need that in our community. So, love.
Can you listen beautifully? Then let people know you are willing. Then, be quiet.

Its not bragging to say, "I am really good at this!" - because it helps us identify what we were created for.

What are you blessed with, sister friend? What can you see you are good at? What passions can you embrace, because it just may be a clue to the job that you were created for? Do tell.

And, if you don't know - ask. It is quite possibly clear to others what tools you have in that apron, even if you can't see them. :)

I had an epiphany the other morning. I was especially irritable. I was feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. I was not liking my kids too much, and everything around me spoke failure. Every surface was so cluttered, the laundry was piled ever so highish. I was struggling with feeling all the things related to lacking productivity. The voices were screaming in my head.

These voices were of three kinds: My own internal voice, which is ever-present and with which I  converse on a constant basis. We talk all the time. This voice was not being a good friend that particular morning. Then, my kids. Even though it was only 0730 they were already at fever pitch with their vocal exercises, which they were doing as a 3-man unit. They were also wrestling, and bouncing off the ceiling. The third voice was my own, which I was using to scream my desire for all the other voices to hush it.

It was hardly a well-begun day. 

I texted my sister: I just want quiet and solitude... and to write...and to work on my house. But there is people and noise everywhere. 

It was the truth. My heart was desperate for quiet. My spirit needed a place where I could remove myself and just be still for a bit. My life circumstances, both living in a tiny house and homeschooling my kids, do not allow for this in normal situations. Quiet isn't really a thing. 

I say that as someone who gets up really early. I love it, and being up before the crazy starts helps. But, lately I have woken up to messes that needed picked up, dirty dishes I've been too tired the night before to pay attention to, screaming cats, and long to-do lists. I spend my quiet time trying to get the day off to a productive start, before the kids/noise wake up. 

But, my soul needs quiet.  To be a good mom, a good wife, a good teacher and a good writer. To be a good minister to others and to be a producer of good work. 

That same day, Shauna Niequist posted these words on Instagram: 

That girl always says what I am needing to hear. And yes, a quiet space became mandatory. So, in a flurry of frustration and determination I finished up my already started efforts in cleaning out a space behind a door. I removed a ton of stuff, to make room for doing stuff. I got rid of furniture, threw away so much and cleared a small wall where a perfectly sized desk that I had yet to find would go.

And, I prayed. I said, "God. I need this. Please, find me a cheap desk that will fit in this tiny spot I have." Within the hour I pulled up a community buy/sell site and found that exact thing. Cutest little desk you ever saw. Its tiny, like my space. Its perfect for my computer and a couple of pretties.

Yesterday was its inauguration day. I sat here and prayed blessings over this space, this desk, this area. I filled the tiny drawers with notecards, my favorite books, different versions of Bibles and added a jar for my favorite (hands off kids!) pens.

I prayed, even after the kids woke up. There is a door, and I closed it. I sent them away, to do their morning things without my guidance. I wrote, I dreamed, I blessed, I asked God for clarity and I prayed for people. I didn't want to leave, and this morning I couldn't wait to get here.

I realize how important these moments are - these ones that we designate for quiet. Not to even say a word yet about what to do in this quiet (I am mulling over words to share those thoughts), but just the practice of "carving out space for quiet" is blessed. Our spirit needs it. We need these times and places to step away, to embrace the quiet and to create room for God to speak to us. In these sacred moment we do what Emily Freeman says, and "choose absence". We allow for a space to be filled with God and His Spirit - where in word, prayer, deed or practice we meet Him.

My tiny physical space behind a door is my new favorite place to come for that thing my soul wants.

My son made me a sign that says, "Do NOT Enter." He gets me.

May you find quiet spaces today, my sweet friend. May it bless you in ways you don't even anticipate this day.

In stillness beauty draws closer. Have you ever noticed that?

I am sitting beside a creek in a state park near my home. It's fall, beautiful and the perfect temperature for writing. I came here looking for quiet, because as it turns out my favorite coffee shop is anything but quiet. My house - well, four guys live there so...

Interestingly, is not exactly silent here either. I hear the creek, which is what I came for. But I also hear a ton of movement. There is so much life taking place on the edge of this creek. There are about ten squirrels enjoying some productive playtime very near me. As I stay still, they draw closer and closer.

I'm struck that stillness invites beauty to come closer to us. The noise of the creek couldn't be heard if I was moving through the leaves near its banks. These rambunctious rodents wouldn't dare venture this close if I were moving around. Birds are landing and singing close by, but wouldn't be if I was not staying still.

Staying still is hard. There is so much to do, so many things that could be being done. There are kids to raise, dishes to do, goals to meet and people to see. Being still doesn't make much sense.

Except that we were created to need it. Our senses are better for it. We are told to do it, for our own sakes.

In stillness, I can marvel better. I can watch a single leaf fall all the way to the ground, or note all the different colors in a single tree. I can watch the squirrel's entire journey up the tree, just to see him race back down ridiculously fast.

I can watch my child's expressions change with the scenes he's creating in his imagination, or appreciate the connection between my husband and my eldest. I can watch the smiles change on my middle son, as he reads something he deems hilarious. Only in my being still do I get to enjoy these things.

Oh, that we are purposeful in building stillness into our lives. That we stop, be still and simply be in our blessed moments. There is more time for taking deep, grateful breaths that way.

I challenge you to do that today.. you'll be so blessed that you did. Do it often. The beauty will appear out of nowhere, and will draw closer to you, I promise.

I can always tell I'm stressed when I feel myself losing my breath. Strangely, I don't always realize before I note my lost breath that I am that degree of anxious. Anxiety takes my breath.

It also tightens my chest and furrows my brow. It tenses my shoulders and grips my neck. I feel it in my body, so much.

Often, that's the first thing I notice. Then, I note that my heart is weary, my mind is racing and my spirit is heavy. Can you relate?

Do do you feel that same physical manifestation of your spirit's worrying, or do you have unique other symptoms? Do you feel the pressure of your spirit before or after your breath is gone?

David understood this feeling. His body reacted to his anxiety.

He could have been relating to us when he said, "Do not hide your face from me when I am in distress. Turn your ear to me; when I call, answer me quickly. For my days vanish like smoke; my bones burn like glowing embers. My heart is blighted and withered like grass; I forget to eat my food. Because of my loud groaning I am reduced to skin and bones." Psalms 102:2-5

Yes. Aside from the forgetting to eat my food part, he describes what I feel like when I'm having a bad day; when the anxiety feels heavy.

I know many of us are feeling exactly this way as we dread/anticipatec Election Day coming this week. You may feel that way because of many reasons besides that. But, I want to encourage all of us to simply... Breathe.

I love how God connects our bodies to our spirit, making the two interact with each other so that we can know our heart needs calming. I love how we can engage our bodies, to calm our inner self by just breathing.

Try it. Breathe deep, friend. Be still. And just breathe.

Breathe in grace, and out worry.
Breathe in peace, and out anxiety.
Breathe in refuge, and out fear.
Breathe in forgiveness, and out guilt.

Look around, take it all in, and just breathe.

I took this the picture above in the midst of craziness. I was stressed. I was enjoying capturing a day in my life on Instagram (a fun challenge from the Hollywood Housewife) and I was anxious. Kids were everywhere, school wasn't working, kids weren't paying attention and I was distracted. My breath was tight, and felt yuck.

I looked down and saw the sweetness.. shoes, books, dishes, weeds, toes.. all things that perfectly represent me. It all made me breathe deep.

May you find reason for breathing deep this week. Breathe in the good, out the bad. Breathe in the moments and out the worries. Breathe in the sovreignty of God, out the temporal. Breathe in the eternal and out the momentary.

Just breathe.